I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
