you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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