i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
