he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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