i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
