I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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