i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
