Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
pop tarts are not kleenex
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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