she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
