she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
