I think scott just propositioned me for sex
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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