She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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