normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
