real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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