All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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