also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
