Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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