Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
