Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
