areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
