You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
