I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
