I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
