shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
