My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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