You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
