he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
