I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
