Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
