I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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