Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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