I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
