IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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