We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize