but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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