So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
