K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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