i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
