she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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