saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
