Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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