A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
