it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is Oprah even human
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
