party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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