how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
