i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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