1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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