Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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