Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
