Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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