Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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