i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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