I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
