you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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