she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
