I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
