So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
