I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize