Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
