Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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