She announced her abortion via fbk
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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