i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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