what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
